It will be a year next Monday. It seems impossibly short. I'm a married woman, which, for those who know me, is a bizarre statement in itself. That I've been married nearly a year is remarkable and trippy, let alone that no one has been killed or even maimed in that time.
I have this bitter tendency to build up events in my mind before they happen, which can sometimes lead to disappointment. This is an icky habit which i really need to work on; living in the moment and all that. That being said, I have mixed feelings about the event of my anniversary. I'm terribly excited, and am trying so hard not to build it up into this mythical event which nothing could live up to. Yet, i feel i have a right to want it to be fabulous. As usual, hubby has so many things going on that the event will be a one day deal, not a weekend getaway like we'd once talked about. See, he's taking the m-cats on August 5th, and is studying his cute little butt off. He said he would rather wait to take a mini camping trip or whatever we wanted to do until the test is over and done with, as he'll be so worried about it until then. Also, he thinks we'll be in negotiations over our condo we're trying to buy. I completely understand these concerns; that being said, there will always be something happening in this crazy life that attempts to interfere with the well-being of our relationship. Why not learn to block it out for a few moments, starting with this most momentous of occasions? huh? So I'm wrestling with being supportive and selfish, and trying to what's what. What's being supportive and what's ignoring my real desires? What's the difference between towing the party line and choking down my own life? I guess I have a week to figure it out- be happy with what I get, decide what's really important to speak up about, and love my husband unconditionally.
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