ahhh, Catholics!

I find the whole concept of natural family planning stifling at best, and it is fascinating to read about all the support this method has from all the catholic bloggers out there. (note- I don't have anything against this method if it's what you believe is right for you. I'm not a hater!!) Not that I identify myself as Catholic, but I was raised Catholic and my mom is extremely devout. I find lots of topics too uncomfortable to discuss with her, but the idea of sex is particularly cringe-worthy. Not that we ever bring it up. A few months ago, however, she mentioned to me this 'great' article or something on abstinence and how 'powerful' the article was. I had been married for nearly a year at this point, and was left feeling confused and uncomfortable after this phone call. Did she think I wouldn't be having sex? Shouldn't be having sex? My parents always told me sex before marriage was a sin, and even made me become a 'born-again virgin" at age sixteen when they found out I had sex. That is a story for a different day, though...back to the whole natural family planning (nfp) thing, it seems to me that since my husband and I do not plan on having children then we should remain abstinent, since sex is for procreation, and even using the nfp method is only meant to delay the childbearing process rather than to prevent it altogether. Is this what my mother wants for me? I have so many mother issues, but this one, misunderstanding or not, takes the cake. Not that I care what my mother thinks of my sex life or anything, it's really just a curiosity for me at this point. I can talk anyone else's ear off about sex and my views on it and it's importance in society and yada yada, but not my parents, especially my mom. I know this is normal, but I think our mutual discomfort with the topic as a whole is several degrees above normal. I wish we were comfortable enough with the subject to talk to each other openly about it, but I don't see that happening any time soon. So I'll just have to be content with academic musings!

Experiment #1

So I tried the recipe below from Chow.com. The cookies were delicious, but rather puffy. I guess I was looking for a thin but chewy cookie, so he consistency was a bit lacking, if only for this purpose. The cream filling was, however, an adventure in arithmetic. As in addition after addition. It may have been partly my fault as I left the egg white/sugar mixture in the double boiler for a bit more time than called for, but nevertheless, the cream was a runny mess...i had to add a LOT more powdered sugar to get it to hold even the remotest shape. I had to put the cream pies in the freezer immediately after piping the filling, as the cookies just refused to stay on top of each other. I will try the other filling recipe next and see if this holds up better. I wonder what I need to do to get my cookies to not be so puffy...

Oh I found my soulmate website!

So in my previous post I came across a website called Chow.com, and as I delved deeper into this foodtopia, I found out that they have a whole section on homemade versions of cellophane wrapped goodies!! so not only do I have the recipe for oatmeal cream pies, but I have a host of other delicious recipes to try. I'll keep a record of how the recipes turn out, once I get to making them, that is.

http://www.chow.com/stories/10094

Oatmeal Cream Pies

I bought a big box of the Little Debbie oatmeal cream pie cookies on an impulse yesterday, and am so delighted I did. Still, I got to thinking that I could probably make a batch of these that would be even more delectable. I have this obsession with renewing old-fashioned desserts and recreating 'classic' desserts that everyone (but me!) got in their lunch boxes as kids. Like oatmeal cream pies! and Ho Ho's! and Suzy Q's, etc. At the natural bakery where I work, we make a lot of vegan recipes, and one of the best is our vegan Suzy Q cake. It's PHENOMENAL! I'll post the recipe here eventually...So anyway, I'm currently searching for the perfect oatmeal cream pie recipe. I'm cataloging them here so I won't lose them and can try them all.

Recipe one, from someone's blog: http://einphilly.blogspot.com/2006/11/oatmeal-cream-pies.html
(this blog has some very cool recipes, btw)

For the Oatmeal Cookies:
Ingredients
2 sticks of butter*, softened to room temperature
1/2 cup granulated sugar
3/4 cup light brown sugar
1 large egg
1 tablespoon whole milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups oatmeal**
3/4 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 tablespoon cocoa powder
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt

* Chow.com called for 1.5 sticks of butter, and I upped it to 2 sticks for a crisper cookie.
** Chow.com called for pulverized oatmeal, but I don't own a food processor, so I used rolled oats and I liked them a little chunkier.

Cream the butter and sugars together until light and the mixture comes together, about 5 minutes. Add the egg,milk and vanilla, and beat until smooth.
In a separate bowl, whisk together all the remaining ingredients. Add to the butter mixture and stir by hand until dough comes together (it should be well incorporated but not overly mixed). Place dough in the refrigerator to chill for at least 1 hour.

Drop by rounded teaspoonfuls, about 2 inches apart, onto a baking sheet lined with parchment or a Silpat. Bake at 375°F until golden brown but soft in the center, about 10 minutes. Remove to a wire rack to cool completely.

Vanilla Filling:
Cream 1/2 white vegetable shortening with 1.5 cups of marshmallow cream and 2 cups of powdered sugar and 1 tsp of vanilla. If it's too stiff, add milk a teaspoon at a time until spreadable, but not runny.

Once cookies have cooled completely, match them in pairs and fill with a big tablespoon of the filling. Continue this process with the remaining cookies.


Recipe 2, from Chow.com

By Adrienne Handler

Total Time: 15 mins

Active Time: 15 mins

Makes: About 2 cups (enough to fill one snackie cake recipe)

Ingredients

• 1 vanilla bean (or 1 teaspoon vanilla extract)
• 4 ounces mascarpone cheese or cream cheese, at room temperature
• 3 large egg whites
• 2/3 cup granulated sugar

Instructions

1. Cut the vanilla bean (if using) in half lengthwise, exposing the seeds. With the back of a knife, scrape out seeds and add to cheese. Mix until cheese is soft and vanilla is blended; reserve. (The rest of the vanilla bean can be saved for another use.)
2. Simmer 1 inch of water in a medium saucepot. Combine egg whites and sugar in a medium mixing bowl. Make a double boiler by placing the bowl with the egg mixture over the pot of simmering water. (Do not let the bottom of the bowl touch the water.) Whisk the egg mixture continously until it reaches 110°F, about 2 minutes. Remove from the heat.
3. Whisk the mixture with an electric mixer until it is doubled in volume, about 5 to 7 minutes. The egg mixture should be glossy and hold a soft peak. Add the cheese mixture and beat just until smooth.
4. Cover the mixture with plastic wrap and refrigerate until ready to use.

I'm feeling old!

I've been watching 'I Love The 90's" on VH1 today, and it's kind of freaking me out...did you realize that Hanson's song "Mmm Bop" came out TEN years ago??!! Crazy, huh? Also, if anyone has Degrassi TNG season 3, can I borrow it???

Did I sound like a hag just then??

I just wanted to clear things up, mostly for myself. I love my husband a ridiculous amount of much. The end. He is fantastic in so, so many ways. Balancing life and love is not one of these, but I didn't mean to sound like I expect (or need) our anniversary to be the event of the millennium or, on the other end of the spectrum, Armageddon. I know whatever he has planned will be heart-song beautiful. Because I love him, and know that he loves me so deeply. I really never knew such unconditional love could radiate from one person to another as does his love for me. The crap he puts up with. The crap I put up with. But it all fades away when I can curl into his arms and fall asleep, with our cats at our feet, basking in the crazy radioactive love-glow that we give out.

I will be curling up in that position right about now...

He blitzed my heart

It will be a year next Monday. It seems impossibly short. I'm a married woman, which, for those who know me, is a bizarre statement in itself. That I've been married nearly a year is remarkable and trippy, let alone that no one has been killed or even maimed in that time.

I have this bitter tendency to build up events in my mind before they happen, which can sometimes lead to disappointment. This is an icky habit which i really need to work on; living in the moment and all that. That being said, I have mixed feelings about the event of my anniversary. I'm terribly excited, and am trying so hard not to build it up into this mythical event which nothing could live up to. Yet, i feel i have a right to want it to be fabulous. As usual, hubby has so many things going on that the event will be a one day deal, not a weekend getaway like we'd once talked about. See, he's taking the m-cats on August 5th, and is studying his cute little butt off. He said he would rather wait to take a mini camping trip or whatever we wanted to do until the test is over and done with, as he'll be so worried about it until then. Also, he thinks we'll be in negotiations over our condo we're trying to buy. I completely understand these concerns; that being said, there will always be something happening in this crazy life that attempts to interfere with the well-being of our relationship. Why not learn to block it out for a few moments, starting with this most momentous of occasions? huh? So I'm wrestling with being supportive and selfish, and trying to what's what. What's being supportive and what's ignoring my real desires? What's the difference between towing the party line and choking down my own life? I guess I have a week to figure it out- be happy with what I get, decide what's really important to speak up about, and love my husband unconditionally.

Vacation All I Ever Wanted

I want to pick up and go. drive just to see where I end up. Sometimes I feel choked by all the obligations and expectations of life, and I want to revert to summers past, when I spent all day reading books in the perfectly-shaped-for-sitting V in my tree out front of our bungalow in Berwyn. All night running around the neighborhood barefooted playing Ghost in the Graveyard. I seem now to only have time for things I don't want to do, and all the spare time I have is spent doing things that make me feel schlubby, like watching cruddy television, endlessly surfing paparazzi websites, and eating. yuck! Why is my motivation to sit outside, wake up early and take a walk, or read a good book just not there lately? I think it's in part because I allow myself to become overwhelmed with the things I 'have' to do, such as working in the understaffed bakery and cleaning the house, and am too exhausted to do anything else but fritter away my brain cells. So if I could learn to stress less, I could spend more time enjoying the summer and my life in general.

My return.......

I promise to be better. for myself. I have a hideous scratch on my face and nose, along with some non-visible places, thanks to my cat Sid. It was my fault; when I tried to get him to come to bed with us last night (after spending almost 2 full days away from our boys!) I startled him and he leaped out of my arms like, well, a startled cat. So that's exciting...